What are the moments that defined who you are?
For me, there are 3 moments.
The First moment: when I was 2, I did my first painting.
Since then, painting become my favorite things to make me happy! I painted everything that I saw and imaged, my Kindergarten teachers always said: “Mowen is a little artist, when you grow up, you will become a great artist !”
But as I grew up, something seem, wrong ? How can I say it ? For example, my cousin and I learned painting together, at the beginning both of us did the same painting, like this one:
But after years, the difference between us became………
Hmmmmm, both of us drew a pretty girl with flying hairs, he did this one:
While I did this one:
Okay, since everyone said that my cousin’s painting is much better, the little artist gradually chose to give up, people told her “painting can just be your habit, but don’t let it delay your study and work.” She also told herself “Since I don’t have talent, better to choose something else 😦 ”
The second moment: when I was 23, I painted a Persian Princess.
I was living in Iran for one year, where I felt that someone gave me a talent, with this talent I could see a Persian Princess in chador, no matter where I went, I wanted to paint her.
I painted her portrait on a notebook, my friend Mosab always wanted to show them to his anties and uncles, they loved my paintings. Once Mosab showed my paintings to his grandfather who was already 90 years old, his grandpa couldn’t speak anymore but took one sugar on my hand, Mosab told me that “My grandpa was a carpet designer, when his students did a nice design, he will reward them a sugar.”
The first time I started to think, maybe I could be, an artist ?
Unfortunately, the world is full of temptations and some temptations seems so beautiful. When I was considering to be an artist after my work in Iran, I was elected as Global VP of AIESEC International and need to go to the Netherlands.
I didn’t know where the special talent could lead me and how far we can go, compared to this uncertainty, I was more clear that doing management in Global Office of AIESEC could provide me what kind of growth and opportunities.
Once again, I chose to give up.
The third moment: when I was 25, I choose to follow my heart.
In the Netherlands, we created cultural exchanges and leadership opportunities to more than 100,000 youth from 120+ countries and territories, we hosted youth leadership conference for hundreds and thousands of people in different countries, we cooperated with the most famous companies, organizations, and UN agencies. But I feel that I’m looking at another person doing this, the only moment that I felt real and happy was when I could steal time to paint a Persian Princess.
In Nepal, once I was asked: ‘what’s your fear ?’ I wrote down that ‘I’m afraid of not living fully and hard, I’m afraid of achieving nothing, I’m afraid of not hearing the voice from my heart, I’m afraid of not following my heart even I could hear it ‘
I started to cry, actually, I heard that voice told me, “I want to be an artist, I want to paint, I must paint.” Just As what Maugham said, ‘when a man falls into the water it doesn’t matter how he swims, well or badly; he’s got to get out or else he’ll down.’
The voice was so strong that I couldn’t hide, but at the same time, I was also afraid of leaving current situation, afraid of other people’ judgment, afraid of changing future plans, and afraid of giving up lots of things.
Until once I did paragliding, I was so scared to fly in the sky, but once I moved up, I never imagined that I could be so peaceful, I looked the sea and mountains, felt the winds by my ears, at that moment I realized that, compared to my freedom and heart, my fear is nothing.
When I came back to the Netherlands, I choose to resign peacefully.
Yes, my name is Mowen, I’m an artist, who is dreaming of creating a beautiful world with my talents.
18th Sep 2017
Manila, the Philippines