4pm, Friday, 22nd Oct 2018. After submitting all artworks, records, research, writings, I left school with a carry-on luggage, students from other majors were still studying there.
Listening to Chinese music, walking towards tube station, maybe because of the luggage I took, a strong feeling welled up in my mind, I never belong here, as I’m leaving, it no longer has any relationship with me.
Like every time leaving a place with my carry on luggage, as the flight gradually flew away, with everything left behind, you had nothing but the memory.
But I have very bad memory, I don’t remember people or things. Sometimes I do miss the place and people, but I don’t remember what to miss.
When I looked back on the past three months studying at Royal College of Art, undoubtedly lots of things happened, but it seemed like nothing happened.
Like I have experienced so much in AIESEC, but once I left, it seemed that nothing happened in the past 6 years, never mention again, never talk anymore.
Will I have the same feeling the day when I really leave RCA?
Coming back home, my room is shining with the light of sunset.
I lied down on the bed, looking at the sunset, feeling the nothingness burning within me.
Mowen
Notting Hill, London
2018.10.22
